thempoems

Business In Venezuela

2006-04-26T12:49:00.000-07:00

If you do business in Venezuela
Chavez is gonna nail ya.

I Disrespect Your Respect

2006-04-24T14:05:00.000-07:00

"Respect," said the man in the golden chain.
"I be sending out respect to my homies today."
Respect? What's that? Is it sent tied in twine?
Or does it float through the air like the fumes of your wine?
I suspect your respect is a throwaway word
something to bleat along with the herd.

Buttons Or Lack Thereof

2006-04-24T13:50:00.000-07:00

If I had a button
then I would not have nuttin'
but if I had a bit of nuttin'
is that something and not nuttin'?

The Lovely-Eared Anchor

2006-04-24T12:57:00.000-07:00

The anchor emoting from my TV screen
has two lovely ears with nothing in between.

Uncle Bob Got A Job

2006-04-23T21:19:00.000-07:00

Uncle Bob got a job working at the bank.
He's rather careless with his hands
so now he's in the tank.

The Whoopie Flower

2006-04-23T18:20:00.000-07:00

The Whoopie Flower grows in a special size
that when drunk as tea tends to euthanize.

The Alligator In The Toilet

2006-04-23T18:15:00.000-07:00

There's an alligator in the toilet.
I think I'll catch and boil it.

The Fussy Little Boy

2006-04-23T18:06:00.000-07:00

"Help!" cried the little boy. "I think I see a spider!"
He was rather white but he turned even whiter.
"Nonsense," said his mother. "Won't you stop that fuss.
That's not a spider - that's an octopus."

Steve Spielberg Shot Another Movie

2006-04-23T18:01:00.000-07:00

Steve Spielberg shot another movie.
Someone somewhere thinks that's groovy.

Ode To The Avocado

2006-04-23T17:58:00.000-07:00

There's nothing more I would like to eat
than an avocado soft and sweet.
There's nothing more I would like to squish
than an avocado in a dish.
There's nothing more I would like to spread
than avocado on a slice of bread.

I Want To Eat A Mushroom

2006-04-22T20:37:00.000-07:00

I want to eat a mushroom
with cheese and crusty bread
but what if the combo explodes
and blows off my tiny head?

To Run Across The Border

2006-04-22T20:24:00.000-07:00

To run across the border
is rather out of order.

If You Travel On Jet Planes

2006-04-22T16:06:00.000-07:00

If you travel on jet planes
watch out for the insane.
They might be snoring next to you
they might be drooling in your food
they might be plotting in 2D
they might be glaring at your feet
they might be serving you your Sprite
they might be captaining the flight.
If you travel on jet planes
watch out for the insane.

My Neighbor's In A Panic

2006-04-22T16:03:00.000-07:00

My neighbor's in a panic
so she eats only organic.

George On The Electric Chair

2006-04-22T15:55:00.000-07:00

George on the electric chair
said, "It's impolite to stare.
It's rude to talk while you champ and chew.
It's uncouth for non-cows to burp and moo."
said George on the electric chair
to those rude people who came to stare.

Insurance Costs a Lot

2006-04-22T15:48:00.000-07:00

Insurance costs a lot
so if you do get shot
get shot right through the head
'cause the rates don't cost the dead.

Tom Cruise Is A Cool Dude

2006-04-22T15:41:00.000-07:00

Tom Cruise is a cool dude
he eats scientific food.